Wear black? Or have an Eastern/Bulgarian/Greek twist?

So, if you're looking for work in "The Biz" - not to be confused with the Motown version of an old classic - here are two very different, very random auditions which we thought were pretty funny, but still noteworthy.

First off, for anyone brave enough to face Bernie Telsey's hair...

...there are auditions for the new Julie Taymor musical, "Spider-Man" July 28th in NYC. According to Playbill.com, here's what they're looking for... and we quote:

Peter Parker - Male, 16-20's, GREAT ROCK VOICE, can be nerdy with understated sex appeal, good sense of humor.

Mary Jane - Female, 16-20's, beautiful girl next door, STRONG POP/ROCK SINGING VOICE.

Principal Women - Females, 25-35 years old, all ethnicities, AMAZING ROCK VOICES, think Sinead O'Connor with a Middle Eastern/Bulgarian/Greek/ twist. Foreign, world music types are great, foreign accents are great!

So, basically, when they say "nerdy with understated sex appeal" they really mean "you need to be Cheyenne Jackson with a pair of glasses on. If tape is holding the glasses together, that's a plus."

And who exactly is going to play these "Principal Women"? We can't even come up with anything witty to say about this. Just the fact that they name-dropped Sinead O'Connor pretty much says it all.

Here is information about the audition. Props to you if you choose to go for this.

Speaking of props. What kind of puppets does Ms. Taymor plan on using for this? As long as they throw in the baby wooden Simba, we'll be pleased.

And U2, eh? We're actually VERY excited about this. Who doesn't have a crush on Bono? If you hate him... just... stop it (although we love the South Park episode making fun of him- genius). If you go to the link about this audition, take note of the many times they use CAPS-LOCK. They are ALL ABOUT IT. SERIOUSLY.

For those of you who want to stay below the Mason-Dixon line, Barksdale Theatre is having auditions for "The Clean House." Granted, only one of the roles requires you to be younger than 50. It's pretty much "Menopause: The Musical" but with Portuguese people. And without music. And with a man.

Here's the information on it. For those of you who feel like you fit the criteria, again, props to you. Please look at this audition notice. It gives a great amount of detail. For example, Matilde, the character in her late 20's, wears black. So... if black's not your color, you might not want to audition. Like, really?

So, pull out your U2 sheet music, brush up on your Portuguese and Spanish, and break a leg at auditions!