Whoops!

Here's the conversation Annie had with her mom this morning at the kitchen table:

Mom: What is Children of a Lesser God about?

Annie: Deaf people, a speech teacher I think.

Mom: Is that a musical?

Annie: [Pause] Do you mean Children's Letters to God?

Mom: [Blank stare for about 10 seconds] Is that the one Chase is doing?

Annie: Yes.

Mom: Oh.

Wow, so Bruce Miller was right in his "Today's Puzzler" post. We wish we had entered the Barksdale's "2 Shows that Sound Alike" contest, although we didn't really have creative answers. Speaking of "creative" answers, did you hear about the Avenue Q contest that happened a month ago? Well, you know the song in the show, "For Now", where they talk about all the bad things out there that are only for now? The line that brought the house down and never seemed to fail, even if people had already heard it 10 times was, "GEORGE BUSH, is only for now." Since he's not there anymore, the contest was to come up with something that's only for now and send it in. Annie came up with a "HILARIOUS" answer- Paris Hilton- and sent it in. When she told Elyse, she was so proud - well, the kind of proud you get when you want to gauge the person's reaction so you pretend you're not proud. The reaction she gauged was a blank stare. And maybe a resnark along the lines of, "That's not even two syllables." 

Here's a link to the article about the contest. Apparently they've narrowed it down to four options, which they're going to try out in front of an audience. BOO. Where is Paris Hilton? Just kidding, but we feel like 2 out of 4 of the possibilities are not all that great. Just sayin'.

Ibloguration

We know that this is not a political blog, nor a funny blog- thanks Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous! But we figured that since Elyse is in school in D.C., witnessing things from a drama[tic] student's point of view, people might be interested in reading. Take it away, Elyse!

So, the inauguration was this morning, and I literally got off the train just in time to witness history. Well, just in time to buy a button that said, "I Witnessed History." It was such a great experience being here today, so I wanted to share some interesting tidbits.

• For as many Obama supporters as there are out there, there are about twice as many louder dissenters, who also happen to have megaphones/sound systems, and really giant posters of things you don't want to see posters of. I'll let you imagine what you want to imagine. But I had to deal with seeing them on every street corner while I was trying to scarf down a hot dog. I mean, you all could have probably guessed that I had no trouble eating the hot dog, but still. Gross.
• The barricades didn't do anything to keep the traffic under control. The only thing they did successfully was make about 1/3 of the people think they were really agile and brave for scaling the 3-foot tall plastic gate. Seriously, you should have seen the speed and concentration these people had while they were getting their running start to climb over the curb.
• I should not have worn a backpack. I came straight from the train station, so I went to all the inauguration proceedings knowing in the back of my mind that if I wanted to change into my Thoroughly Modern Millie audition outfit and tap shoes, I totally could. The backpack became a problem after the speech, when there was a mass exodus to leave the Mall. Everyone who was behind me thought I was wearing the backpack just so that they could hold on to it as I steered them through the crowd. They were wrong. And I let them know this by taking a giant step backwards.
• The pedestrian traffic was really ridiculous, as you can imagine, and most of the time was spent virtually standing in place, waiting for the giant horde to move forward a foot. I was getting bored, so I looked down and watched people's feet and it was hilarious! It was seriously like Kabuki Inauguration. Everyone was taking the tiniest steps, even if there was no place to go.
• I discovered that I am actually the shortest person in Washington, DC. Seriously, standing in the crowd, I felt like Tai in Clueless when she's standing at the party between the two really tall guys. Except she was cute and tiny and wearing short overalls, and I was still 5'6" and disheveled and wearing sweatpants and 12 jackets. And the backpack.

It was quite a day! Stay tuned for stories about me babysitting Sasha and Malia!

Okay. Amazing.

We've been watching Saturday Night Live since when it was actually funny. Now, they have redeemed any missteps (Goat Boy, anyone?) with this goldmine. Honestly, we were laughing the whole entire time. Thank you, SNL.

Imagine Being THAT Girl

All right, so it was brought to our attention that all of the people we aspire to be are, in fact, men... Freud, can you help us out here? Anyway, there have been some females about whom we have thought, "Can you imagine being that girl?" Granted, they aren't AS positive, and they certainly don't carry the same weight as say, a man symbolizing a whole nationwide network or a man symbolizing the sexual ambiguity at Dear Old Shiz. But, here is our tentative list of these women...

1. The "Other Arm" of Trekkie Monster in Avenue Q - We love this woman and her short 'do. It's one thing to have to "ignore" the fact that, say, John Tartaglia is completely visible onstage, speaking as his puppet while operating it... eventually the belief is suspended. However, it's pretty hard to "ignore" the completely visible woman who's basically playing three-legged race with the man providing Trekkie Monster's other arm and voice. BUT, it's more stage time than we've ever had on Broadway! Or with puppets! Actually, that's not true... we have hours and hours of footage of us doing puppet theatre. Perhaps that will be a new blog feature...
2. The "Another Suitcase in Another Hall" Girl in Evita - Okay, this part is pretty awesome. You're basically  known as the "other girl" in Evita. Downside is, you have to have The Patti Lupone get really pissed off at you 8 shows a week. Yowza. Not fun. But, as we understand it, anyone in a show with Patti Lupone suffers that consequence anyway. Worth it? Yes. 
3. The "Put on a Happy Face" Girl in the 1995 MOVIE - We pulled out the 1995 Bye Bye Birdie the other night and watched it. We discovered a lot of things including the fact that all of the songs cut out of the original movie are amazing, the opening credits end with "And Introducing Marc Kudisch" which we thought was pretty hilarious for some reason, and we have a crush on Jason Alexander (We know, we know, but watch the movie. And while you're feeling loving, watch Grease 2 and we promise you'll get a crush on Adrian Zmed.) The movie version of "Put on a Happy Face" is so cute and the girl is awesome and gets to dance with Jason (Yes, that's right, first-name basis). 
4. The one "Ugly Girl" in The Producers - You know which one we're talking about, right? During the song "I Want to be a Producer" all of the beautiful chorus girls file on stage, and at the end of the line is one "ugly" one and the whole audience bursts into laughter. Seriously. That would totally be one of us. Like, "You can be in the ensemble as long as you are prepared for the audience to think it's either a mistake or a joke!" We would take the role. No questions asked. Actually, it would finally be a chance to not feel guilty eating our usual Wendy's #6 with just mayonnaise. Seriously, the people at Wendy's know us. And our car. That's right, we don't even get out of the car to get our food: we drive through, eat it sitting down, and then drive into our house, up the stairs, and into our bed for the night. 
5. The Girl in the Yellow Dress in Contact - Considering a prerequisite for this is to be incredibly tall with long legs, thin, and an amazing dancer, we imagine being this girl would be pretty nice (See: bullet point 4.). This is Stro at one of her finest with the classic left-hand-on-stomach, right-hand out, feet swivel. We're sure Stro's blocking notations were more eloquent. 
6. Allison Janney- No description needed.

All right, since this is a running list, we're going to stop it here because our posts tend to be rather long-winded...ha. Who would YOU want to be? Let's get a lively debate going a la what is professional here in Richmond. Man, that's getting heated, eh? I feel like a debate about who would you rather be- Jane Krakowski or Megan Mullally- might cause some Anonymous commenters to post some resnarks. 

Better Theatre Games than FREEZE- SHOULDA SAID.

It's time for A Farewell to Arms... and by arms we mean Elyse. Unfortunately, after four weeks of good times, Elyse had to return to college. We had to make our last night worthwhile, and we would say we did pretty well. First, we made cookies and realized we didn't have milk. Cookies + No Milk = Null. So we asked our mom to take us to the store. Before we left, though, Elyse requested that we quickly change the lyrics to "Singin' in the Rain" so it pertained to buying milk, get our mom to "act" (she was supposed to refuse taking us at first, then give in and join us), choreograph  it so that in the final line of the song, the three of us walk in a line, grab our purse/jackets/keys, hit the final note, and hold it until we slammed the door shut behind us on the stinger. We kid you not, we literally did this. Sure, no one really knew the lyrics, but by the final line, we had it down pat. It went something like this:

"Just singin' and dancin' to get some MILK" (sung in three-part "harmony [it somewhat resembled our "Sit Down, John" chord]) -2-3-4-5-6- and door SHUT. 

We strongly advise that if you are leaving the house with a group of people, you should play this Musical Theatre Exit Game. It works for all songs and for all ventures that require leaving your house. Going on a late night Taco Bell run? We advise trying, "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, we're GOING, to get, SOME, tacoooooossss" (and slowly shut the door).

Next, we made up a game called the Jellicle Cats Key Change Game. If any of you haven't watched the number "Jellicle Cats" performed before, please watch this. It's pretty hilarious, in all honesty. It's funny that the whole song is basically the specifications of what constitutes a jellicle cat, like bouncing on tires, diving through the air, and being the Pied Piper's assistant. It's a little suspicious they don't mention being able to do triple pirouettes, actually looking good doing the stag jump, being able to sing ridiculous bass notes while doing a round-off back handspring, and having no hips, thighs, gut so as not to look like a jellicle fat(ty) in that horrible costume. We're sorry if any of you are die-hard Cats fans, but we find, at least this number, tragically amusing. 

First off, it's really easy to change keys in this song, so Elyse was sitting on the couch, singing the same line over and over again (wrong lyrics, probably), but changing the key at the end of every chorus. This was repeated about 20 times (by the end of the game we think she was singing the final note in "Prima Donna"). While this was happening, Annie was performing the choreography, but, once she ran out (because the song was now an extended version), she just started making up choreography that is appropros for a jellicle cat. It was the funniest thing on earth. Somehow Annie suddenly became a choreographer who could perfectly balance ridiculous 80's movements with feline traits. 

Of course, it wasn't until this game was over that we realized how ridiculous it was, or how long we had been doing it. Once you get swept up into the game it's next to impossible to get out of it. That's the pitfall. 

It's really sad that the sisters will be parted, yet again, but at least everyone can rest better knowing that our last night together was spent being the biggest theatre dorks ever. And we will be reuniting Monday night around 7 PM for a musical theatre venture. It is sure to result in a hilarious blog. 

Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken

Note: Title has nothing to do with actual blog.

So as we all know it's the New Year- Happy New Year!!-, and we're all taking an introspective inventory, trying to find ways to better ourselves in 2009. Need help starting a healthier lifestyle? Commiserate with Bruce Miller who is taking real action in his weight loss. Unlike us, who plan on buying a Wii Fit and doing it sitting down. Learning how to cook? There are about twelve Richmond Theatre Cooking Blogs out there to help you! 

But most of us just want to be better people. And not in the way you would think. Literally, we want to BE these better people. We have compiled a list of random people we would love to be...a new section of the blog we entitle "Imagine Being THAT Guy."

1. The Verizon Guy - Can you imagine being this guy? One look at his face and you literally feel comforted and protected. Plus, he totally has a dorky/cool vibe going for him.
2. The announcer on Saturday Night Live - Imagine being this guy, or at least his niece. You're instantly popular because your uncle is the one who, for years, has been saying "It's Saturday Night Live." Plus, you could get him to say "With your host, [insert your name here]." 
3. The male ensemble member(s) in Wicked who gets to wear the skirt - Seriously, there is at least one guy in the ensemble of Wicked who wears a skirt. And he always has tousled shoulder-length hair and a chiseled jaw. And even if he isn't actually, he seems like the best dancer in the ensemble by far. It's all 'cause of the skirt.
4. God in Children of Eden - Imagine typing up your resume and literally typing Children of Eden............God. 
5. Sancho to Brian Stokes Mitchell's Don Quixote - Imagine being that guy! You'd get to sing "I Really Like Him," and not have to act at all. In fact, the more appropriate lyrics would be, "I Am Seriously In Love With Him." But by the finale, we'd be so heart-broken.
6. The chorus member in Phantom who gets to "be" the Phantom in the "Masquerade" scene - Literally this guy is just lip-synching in Phantom's Red Death costume, but how cool would it be to have everyone in the audience thinking you're the title character in freakin'Phantom of the Opera for five minutes? Plus, you get to tell people you're the Phantom *cough* for five minutes *cough*.
7. One of the two Asian henchmen in Thoroughly Modern Millie - You're kind of sitting there in this role thinking, "Man, I'm being so stereotyped, it's not even funny (literally), but at least I'm in a Broadway show. And at least I was just in Rush Hour."
8. Michael Berresse in Kiss Me, Kate - This has nothing to do with the part or being in that show, although it is a cute male part. What's amazing is that Michael Berresse literally can SCALE A WALL. Remember that scene? Imagine walking down the streets of New York, seeing a building that somewhat resembles the outside of a dressing room, and knowing that you are able to climb to the top.

It's 2009, ladies and gentlemen, let's take our resolutions seriously. We, for two, are trying to become one of these people. So far, we're off to a great start. For example, we've learned how to climb our stairs. And sing at the same time! 

We hope your New Years was amazing, and stay tuned! For what? We don't know yet.