Mmm, Splotchy.

It probably comes as no surprise to you that we consider Center Stage to be one of the most important and hilarious movies of all time. With Susan Stroman's classic choreography to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Shakespeare geek in 10 Things I Hate About You "fooling" us as a prima ballerina, and Peter Gallagher's eyebrows playing a bigwig Artistic Director, we've watched this movie too many times to count. So for all the rest of you who are obsessed with this film, join us as we recount our top 10 "what-the-heck" moments of Center Stage.

• We love all the Broadway performers who are in this movie, especially Debra Monk who plays snobby Maureen's crazy stage mom. It's such a climactic moment when she's watching the big ballet performance at the end and sees that her daughter isn't onstage dancing the lead role. She's so shocked, in fact, that she leaves in the middle of the performance to find Maureen. However, instead of going out the aisle that's probably directly next to her, she chooses to go out the opposite aisle, therefore giving Debra Monk a big opportunity to awkwardly climb over about twenty people, loudly.
• Eva Rodriguez, the tough Spanish girl who only has a Spanish accent about twice in the movie, is the rebel with the heart of gold. Somehow, she is allowed to show up to class at literally the most prestigious ballet school in the country late, with her hair in a mess, and the wrong leotard. And they don't kick her out! Nice. We love that in the movie, they find it necessary to include a 30-second scene showing us how tough Eva is- cut to her smoking a cig outside, dropping it on the ground, and putting it out with her POINTE SHOE. How symbolic is that?
  
• Sadly, Eric O. Jones hurts his leg in rehearsal and is unable to perform in Cooper Nielson's choreographic BA-llet premiere (anyone else notice that real ballerinas always have to put the emphasis on the "BA" part?). So, woohoo, Cooper is going to go on FOR Eric. Does anyone else think it's weird that the part that Eric O. Jones was supposed to play included him having an onstage makeout scene with Jody and riding on a motorcycle and getting in a dance battle with Charlie? Like, we're sure Eric was a great actor, but watching him make out with Jody? Let's just say it's a good thing he sprained his ankle and Cooper had to go on and tidily wrap up/summarize, in a 5-minute ballet piece, what we've previously sat through for about an hour.
  
• It's really cool that famous ballerina Julie Kent dances in the movie- but it's even cooler that she acts! We like the acting technique she employs: talking the whole time with her teeth shut together.
• One of our favorite parts in the movie is obviously the jazz dance class with Priscilla Lopez as the instructor. She totally plays the bad-ass, this-isn't-a-ballet-class, dance-the-*$&%-out-of-it dance teacher. So obviously what song does she choose to have her class warm up to? "Candy" by Mandy Moore. Obviously.
• Maureen is lucky enough to date Jim, a pre-med student at Columbia University. In one scene she's at the bowling alley with Jim and all of his cool friends, eating pizza and listening to a guy tell a HILARIOUS joke about an elephant and monkeys. We'd like to think that Ivy-leaguers tell jokes that are funnier and wittier than this one. It's so bad, and judging how much everyone's DYING laughing to the point that they're crying, apparently Columbia kids have really bad senses of humor.
• The Latin dance club scene is amazing, if only for the two lead singers of the band with the really long hair. Jody and Charlie go out onto the dance floor and do some "Latin dancing." Eva and Eric, the two ethnic dancers, OBVIOUSLY are better Latin dancers, so they go onto the dance floor and criticize Jody and Charlie, telling them "That's not Salsa! You want to see Salsa? THIS is Salsa!" They then proceed to shimmy and do a grapevine.
• How many times have we gotten upset during a rehearsal or a dance class and started to cry in the hallway? Hmm, we plead the 5th. How many times have we had this happen to us, then had a cute, straight male dancer reassure us that we're awesome and we shouldn't worry about our faces being splotchy? Um, zero. Jody Sawyer, you're a lucky biotch.
  
• Also with Jody, if she chooses not to be a dancer, she has a long career ahead of her as a hair stylist. Have you noticed how her hairstyle is literally different- and perfect- in every scene?
• Finally, we can't forget the best scene in the whole movie- the very end. The big ballet showcase is over, students have been selected for the company, Cooper's made his choreographic debut, and everyone's gathered in the Lincoln Center lobby. And who gets their name called out and roses handed to her by everyone? That's right, Jody Sawyer. Because... she emerged as a star dancer from just the training company? And was brave enough to tell Peter Gallagher to stick it and instead join Cooper's company? Yes, that definitely deserves a loud, "JODY SAWYER" followed by applause and bouquets of flowers.

We know this was a ridiculously long blog post, but oh, it's so worth it to us to spread the love and ridiculousness that is Center Stage. Please, watch it. If you haven't, you can borrow ours... and you're not splotchy.